Oh.
I.am.so.tired.
Today was one of those days ... the kind of day that there's no way to pretend your way through ... the kind of day you just have to push hard against ... kind of like kicking your way back to the surface of a fast flowing river after a sharp and unexpected plunge to the bottom.
The lack of sleep is starting to get to me. I think I sense it most in my apathy toward the number of cupcakes I'm eating in one day and in my inability to find a pair of matching socks.
Child-the-first is bearing up well. She has a few dark circles, but really, I'm amazed at how well she functions on so little sleep. Today, while she did stay in her bed during afternoon quiet time, she didn't sleep one wink. In fact, she confessed to her sweet papa that she 'read the whole time'.
Child-the-second is bearing up, but I think today's shriek-fest proved the bearing is definitely not in the upward direction. I don't know if I've ever heard a baby scream so loudly for such a long time with no breaks. And it's not like I haven't been around colicky babies before.
Husband-the-hero arrived home in the nick ... and somehow, God bless him, he managed a trip to the store with both girls, (yeah, for more cupcakes ... and rust-free beer), during which the younger fille made not one peep. In fact, le bebe deuxième was asleep when he returned. Hero-daddy is currently reading to both of them in another room to give me a continued break.
As bedtime nears, my prayer is that both of these tiny persons will fall asleep quickly and deeply and stay that way until well past sunrise. I'm old and not used to this kind of night time party anymore, and frankly, the cupcake-crutches I'm depending on are starting to add up ...
Pressing on.
Today was one of those days ... the kind of day that there's no way to pretend your way through ... the kind of day you just have to push hard against ... kind of like kicking your way back to the surface of a fast flowing river after a sharp and unexpected plunge to the bottom.
The lack of sleep is starting to get to me. I think I sense it most in my apathy toward the number of cupcakes I'm eating in one day and in my inability to find a pair of matching socks.
Child-the-first is bearing up well. She has a few dark circles, but really, I'm amazed at how well she functions on so little sleep. Today, while she did stay in her bed during afternoon quiet time, she didn't sleep one wink. In fact, she confessed to her sweet papa that she 'read the whole time'.
Child-the-second is bearing up, but I think today's shriek-fest proved the bearing is definitely not in the upward direction. I don't know if I've ever heard a baby scream so loudly for such a long time with no breaks. And it's not like I haven't been around colicky babies before.
Husband-the-hero arrived home in the nick ... and somehow, God bless him, he managed a trip to the store with both girls, (yeah, for more cupcakes ... and rust-free beer), during which the younger fille made not one peep. In fact, le bebe deuxième was asleep when he returned. Hero-daddy is currently reading to both of them in another room to give me a continued break.
As bedtime nears, my prayer is that both of these tiny persons will fall asleep quickly and deeply and stay that way until well past sunrise. I'm old and not used to this kind of night time party anymore, and frankly, the cupcake-crutches I'm depending on are starting to add up ...
Pressing on.
Labels:
babyhood,
balance,
chaos,
family,
joy
Um...I fell asleep today. At work. Well actually I hadn't made it into work. I fell asleep still buckled into my van, in the parking lot, in front of EVERYONE as they parked their cars and walked into work. Not a pretty sleep...oh, no! A mouth hanging open, drooling, mouth twitching, probably moaning type of deep deep sleep. When I awoke, my coworkers were outside the van windown pointing and laughing. I wanted to die, just die.
You poor thing!!! It is hard, this parenting stuff, no? I think sleep is what I miss - and need - more than anything at this point.