Blocked.

Stifled maybe? Stuck? I don't know. I think drowning is the word.

The word for today. For this Monday. That's not really bad.

It's how I feel - creatively stuck in a mess that's getting deeper by the moment.

There. is. not. enough. time.

That's the gist of it. There's just not enough time.

Or.

I'm not good enough to manage it. Not talented enough for the undertaking.

It's a toss up at this point. I'm not out here in blogland seeking pity - only a release from the confines of my Adobe files and the lack of my own ability to pro-gress.

Take a break says my creative mind. Keep working says the other.

Can't someone just get me a few more hours?

A short rant

Really?

We're upset because the President went on Jay Leno. Oh, and he's filling out his brackets.

I don't know how I feel about this.

I mean, I'm unemployed. I'm struggling to find a new job. I got turned down by the mall, for gosh sakes. I'm worried about my family, the economy, our financial future, my career, what will happen to my daughter, cage fighting in public schools, and the last 15 pounds I want to lose.

But, this morning I colored with my daughter. And last night, I went for a walk with my family. I stood on the edge of a cliff and watched the tides roll in from the ocean. I also read a funny comic strip, laughed about some fashion I saw online, and read a few design blogs.

So? Does life continue? Does it go on amid the mess that the richest and most powerful have made of our financial system? Does it go on in the face of the endless possibilities for downfall that all of us face?

Yeah. It does. I don't feel guilty for laughing a little. And I don't expect that the President give up the rest of his life because he's President. I mean the brackets are just for fun. Doesn't he deserve, like the rest of us, a few moments a day to do normal things? Maybe he and his wife have an annual March Madness contest. Maybe it's something he does with his pals from college. Maybe he and his daughters sometimes like to take walks, or play games, or God-forbid, laugh.

On the flip side, I know, in a personal way, how bad things are. And I feel that I have a clear understanding of how bad things could get. So yeah, Leno seems a bit light for the times . . . and maybe a bit light for the office that's long maintained, (at times unsuccessfully) a somewhat dignified appearance. Maybe a comedy show isn't the best way to go. Maybe it does give the appearance that he's not really focused on the huge problems facing the nation. And you know, combined with what every news headline is calling his lack of attention and action on the matter, it doesn't make me feel very good about things. I don't see any changes coming my way.

Still. After reading horrific stories in the news lately about life and death and health and safety and food and war and finances and you name it, it's there, I have a really hard time understanding why, oh, why we are so upset about these seemingly insignificant things. A comedy show, some brackets . . . come on. Don't we have better things to investigate? Don't we have better things to report? Shouldn't someone in the 'news' business get busy talking about what's important?

And yes, for the record, the Special Olympics comment bothered me. But truly, I think if we're honest, we've seen a lot of Presidents do some really dumb ass things. This, in comparison to a number of mistakes I could list, (Marilyn Monroe, anyone?), is small. Tiny. Minute. He didn't toss his cookies at a state dinner. He's not feeling any interns up in the oval office with a cigar. Maybe we can cut him some slack?

And maybe we can stop slacking on talking about the real issues. You know, like the free-dental-abolitionist-movement.

Sun

and wind and warmth. Finally. Here.

It feels like a forever has passed since the light looked this way. It seems as though it has taken years for the sun to find its way back, for the trees to have that shiny light green color to their branches.

And it's beautiful.

Cardio

Makes my stomach hurt.

But I didn't fall down. So that's a good start.

Now I only need 10 minutes of dancing to complete my goal of either killing myself of causing hell to freeze over.

We shall see which happens first. I'm betting on the former.